Through the Lens
By Jeromy Krogman M.A., LLPC
Morpheus: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is but it's there, like a splinter in your mind driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Most of us have watched “The Matrix” and remember this dialog from Neo and Morpheus. The world that we perceive is different than what another person may see. I know this is true because so many times my wife and I look at a baby, and one of us gets all emotional (this is not me!!), and I am thinking POOP and lots of it. We each have a lens over our eyes and interpret the world through our very crafted and color coated lens.
Why do we have different lenses?
Some individuals say it goes back to either biology or environment. The whole debate of “nature vs. nurture.” However, most therapists believe it is both who the parents are and the environment we are thrown into. For example, if we live in a home where the parents are abusive, no matter the person’s biology, there will be a certain amount of trauma in the child’s life and that trauma may be with that person into adulthood if not taken care of.
Couple things to think about:
- Where do we come from? Your family plays an enormous role in who you are and who you will be. Understanding where you came from will help you understand yourself in an enhanced way.
- Where did you grow up? The environment that we grew up in will participate in how we see the world around us. If you grew up in a different country, say Africa, and then come to America, you would see things here very differently than someone who grew up in the States.
- Are you male or female? Numerous books tell us that males and females look at the world very differently. (I know...strange, right?) Understanding that the opposite sex sees the world dissimilarly will help you have more empathy and understanding for the other sex.
How do these lenses affect our everyday?
We all need to understand that we see the world in a certain way and are going to interpret it in that context. We need to become more self-aware with our own thoughts and perceptions of the world around us. There are many ways to becoming more mindful. A person can read numerous books to help them understand themselves in a new light. An individual can go see a therapist or mentor who will help them become more understanding of who they are. Some individuals may even go through a terrible time in their life, which helps reveal to them some inner qualities they might have or not have.
How do you see your world?
Learning this will highly influence the rest of your life. Being more conscious of who you are, will enable you to become the person you want to be and achieve the success you desire for your life. No one is going to force you to change. That is up to you. I have had to learn this a lot in my life, and only I can change me for the better. No one else is going to do it even though I want them to. THIS RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE IS UP TO ME AND ME ONLY!!!